Sunday, 29 August 2010

Follow Friday

Alright there my Twittery based chums....I'd like to talk about Follow Friday.

A bunch of people do them, they put the hashtag on the post and put a bunch of people's names on it.

The thing is, what's the etiquette for this. Do you have to put everyone you follow on there? Or everyone who follows you? do you have to thank everybody who #ff's you or do one in return?

Personally I try to cover as many people as I can but rather than spending time typing I do little videos but that's just me.

Some people like to do videos, some Boo, some make little webpages and some just say "go through my following list" if they're feeling lazy...I know, I've done it myself and it does save a lot of time and messing about and protects one's conscience in case you miss someone.

It's a nice idea this #ff lark and I like to join in but I can't help but feel a tad guilty if I miss someone out, especially if they #ff me. What do I do then? Do I return the gesture and run the risk that it will look like I'm only doing it because they did or just crack on and do it anyway?

Follow Friday, great idea but comes with such emotional perils.

Anyway, here's a video.

Sunday, 23 May 2010

The Dalevich-ionary

Abbadabbashabbalabba – to genetically create a musical act hybrid in your own laboratory, generally used to refer to the laboratory itself.


Arglefogey – An old person with a penchant for placing toy plastic rhinos in wood burning stoves


Dervelkefflechuck – The act of making people go around you when you are passing wind and then wafting it at them when they pass while giggling cheekily to yourself.


Dervelkefflechucker- The sort of person who Dervelkefflechucks


DervelkefflechuckeeThe victim of Dervelkefflechucking he/she who has been Dervelkefflechucked..


Dervelgustea – The slightly ill feeling a victim of Dervelkefflechuck gets when they pass a Dervelkefflechucker


Egremont – To remove a baby Eagle from a plinth, have a look at it then put it back down again


Falcogeminihampaphobia – the fear of finding a Falcon born in June in your picnic container


Grurgle – a small burp that resembles speech


Harimotheftophobia – The fear of having your fruity sweets stolen by a moth.


Hayokelure – the act of enticing a man from a small country village for reasons unknown.


Ibbledosh – The light green powdery substance found at the bottom of a pack of Jaffa Cakes that has been lent to a drummer from Swindon upon it’s return.


Jaruty – The act of making a large item of furniture fit through a small doorway by asking it politely.


Kernyurken – Small tent made from the skin of Bees.


London – To have leant on something then got bored and stopped leaning.


Myykitumble – To take part in a Tombola style raffle whilst holding a microphone and standing with a person called Michael or Michaela.


Neffs – The small inexplicable fluffy bits from a tumble dryer, the colour of which matches no garment you own.


Oculact – To make Milk come from the corner of your eyes to feed to an abandoned baby otter found at a riverside


Pabblestrop – To use a Rock or stone as an oar in an angry manner on loss of wooden oar from rowing boat.


Spandaramafistothroatostereophobia – the fear of being punched in the neck while listening to eighties music on the radio.


Shpoodle – The act of pushing a small curly haired dog into the path of an oncoming pensioner.


Yogel – The act of shouting “Ya-aye-ee Boo-Boo” from the side of a Scandinavian mountain



Saturday, 22 May 2010

The Pineapple Scale

I have been going on for weeks about something that has caught the attention of literally two or three people.

It's the Pineapple Scale.

But what is this crazy scale I hear no-one cry.

Allow me to elaborate but first here's a little bit of background.....

I do not have Sky.

By that I don't mean I am in danger of freezing to death or being radiationed into little bits by a solar pummelling due to a lack of atmosphere. I of course mean I do not subscribe to the wide range of quality programming offered by the British Sky Broadcasting media group. I'm a freeview kinda guy and I'm fine with that. DON'T JUDGE ME!!!

So I was blissfully ignorant to a certain phenomena until Harry Hill began sharing his observations on his TV Burp.

I am of course referring to 'Pineapple Dance Studios' with the inhumanly energetic stubble-fest that is Louis Spence.

This is him here.

You know who I mean?

Thought you might, well to say that this man is camper than a branch of Outdoor World makes the word 'understatement' makes an understatement of the word understatement. He must live on a diet of Red Bull (other energy drinks are available), pink wafer biscuits and Absinthe.


He makes this man....
















Looks like this man.....
















so...in his honour I have devised a scale of campness using this man here....






The Pineapple Scale









it's quite simple it runs from one to ten....Louis is a quite clearly the ten.

I know what you're thinking...."Surely he's at least a 15...mumble mumble mumble..."

But no, he IS the scale and you really have to be going some to get a 10 in this scale let me tell
ya.

I have no problem with him...okay, I might switch to the paint drying channel to calm down after a couple of microseconds of seeing him on telly but he is who he is and in his honour I have devised this measuring device.

Oh, by the way...if you're still not convinced, check this out.


Fair's fair, he's a nimble little bugger.

I wonder how far most people will get before they search out a video featuring a sunset or a locked off shot of some concrete.